Tonight for some reason I had an inexplicable desire to share with you all the sorry state of my refrigerator. Now to be fair, the fridge doesn't actually belong to me. It was here when I moved into the flat. In order to protect my flatmates at least a little bit I am renaming them the uni-sexual pseudonyms Chris and Sam.
But first, here is an overview of my fridge.
When I had a little party here in this flat (I called it my flat warming, any excuse!) a couple of my friends from hockey came by. One in particular was astounded at the size of my cat, Plumpy (check out his blog here) and couldn't get over not just how big he was, but also how ummmm... engorged he appeared around the belly. So the next week at practice she brought in a news paper clipping and told the entire team my cat made it into the local rag. After passing it around the team (who all judged me for over-feeding my cat) she handed the paper to me and said it would pay to take the article home and give it some serious thought. Though I was offended she lied to the team about my cat (who was NOT the one featured in the photo) and though I was insulted she thought I should 'ease up' on the amount of food he was given, I did place the clipping in pride of place underneath all the other junk on the fridge.
Lets take a closer look at the healthy selection of food stored not a moment longer than its use-by date, shall we?
Here is the upper few shelves. See how the very top shelf is not used at all. This is because it has an extra door to lift, which is FAAAAAR to hard to get into. The juice on the next shelf looks fairly innocent, but I've seen it moving about the fridge from shelf to shelf over the last few months. I think it gets shifted when it's in the way. No one wants to drink it because it's old, and no one wants to throw it out in case it belongs to someone else.
The dip was my mistake, I made it but didn't have enough chips to finish it with. I put it in the fridge for safe keeping. It's probably the safest place in the house - no one will touch it. It's been there a week now and there's oil lifting to the surface. I don't want to talk about the potato dish that Sam made and refuses to finish.
Now I put the raw meat in for dramatic effect. It's actually dinner tomorrow night. I have hockey practice so need something quick and easy for tea. Pre-crumbed schnitzel it is! So you may rest assured I do not have 'off' meat in the fridge.
The bottom shelves are my pet hate. When we buy fruit and veges from the supermarket (even though they are better and cheaper at the fruit shop down the road, they are put into plastic bags which aren't even designed to allow the food to breath. There is a different supermarket a little further away which provides brown paper bags for my mushrooms, but that's not the supermarket we go to! No one, not even me, bothers to remove the veges from the bags before putting them in the crisper bin. Sort of defeats the purpose doesn't it?
At the moment there is tonight's mince (it will be lasagne soon MMMMMmmmmm) hanging around not so far away from Sam's emergency dinner. Again Sam has let me down not only by failing to finish a meal, but also storing it away in the fridge for further personal growth.
Last, and pretty much least, is the door. Mostly I include this because it is a little sad how empty it is. It isn't filled up with sauces and juices and exciting additions to one's evening meal. In fact, it doesn't even fit a standard 1.5L soft drink bottle! Sam's fantas, Chris's Coke and my Pepsi have to lie down on the shelves. But I can't drink cold beverages very well so mine lives in the pantry anyway! Oh for small mercies har har har! There is a little jar of crushed garlic in there now though. I added it today.
I tell you, Chris has to have his eggs. Not that they get eaten! But who knows, with the top layer coming up to their 'use-by' date, they might be about ready for use in a nice pavlova. (A Kiwi invention Simon, not Australian!!!)
It hasn't been a particularly pleasant post, I know. It was probably boring too. But I it has certainly produced at least one positive result. With the absence of both my flatmates (they are in the UK) I have now cleaned out the fridge! It is fresh, wholesome and healthy. Finally!